Caught my husband wearing my clothes
Uh-oh, it looks like your Internet Explorer is out of date. For a better shopping experience, please upgrade now. I am a male who identifies as a female. I always wear women's clothes and live a woman's lifestyle. But, I do not try to impersonate a woman.
What is my age: 50
What is my nationaly: Mexican
Sexual preference: Gentleman
Eyes: I’ve got dark gray-blue eyes but I use colored contact lenses
What is my Sign of the zodiac: Taurus
What I prefer to drink: Champagne
Angry husband Always negative and verbally abusive.
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Just so low. Husband wearing my clothes!!!??? Well what can i say??? Things have been very rocky between me and my husband for the past few years been married 4 years and he's not been himself for a long time. Lashing out at myself and the children, always seems angry, never happy and tonight he's decided to tell me the reason why he has been acting like this is because he has been keeping this secret for so long and it's basically been eating away at him.
So he declared that he has been secretly wearing my clothes :shock::shock::shock: I am in total shock and totally devasted I have no idea what to do about this or how to react?!? I feel so violated!
When questioned further it seems it has been going on for years, since before our marriage. I have noooo idea what to do? I keep asking him why? He just says it was curiosity at first but now he feels asthough he can't stop!!!
He assures me he's not gay but he has been wearing all my clothes, underwear, even shoes! Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this??? How did you handle it?? He told me he has been "masturbating" wearing them!!!!!!!!! I feel terribly just typing this.
About the author
It seems so wrong. He has sworn me to secreasy! When i asked him if he wanted to stop it, there was a massive pause, and then he said he would have liked me to accept it and let him keep doing it and we could have some "fun" toghether!!!
I can't tell you how hurt, devastated and humiliated i feel. See last answer. Ive no experience in this matter and can imagine it would be difficult to understand. That said I think it boils down to the type of relationship you have, and how happy you are. Peronsally I wouldnt get anything sexual out of seeing him the closes and would be put off engaging in anything sexual. On the other hand if he did it in private and was extremely careful, espically where the kids were concerned, I would probably just let him get on with it!.
Probably easier said than done.
The question are Search for a thread. Can you live with him doing it? Do you love him? Do you want him to be happy? Is it hurting anybody? I hope you get things sorted xxx. Family and other relationships Husband stopped wearing wedding ring. Family and other relationships my 13 yrs old girl masterbating. Family and other relationships What to do if you don't love your Husband anymore?
First of all can I just say that I'm sorry you're so upset over this and I hope that whatever is said, you can figure out a solution that is best for your whole family. I'm sorry for your shock, it must've been very trying for you. As the poster said, it does come down to your relationship. I don't personally have experience in this, however my step-sister's father is a cross dresser, however there was other things going on within her parent's relationship so my step-mum felt that she could not carry on with their marriage, but that isn't necesarily what is right for you.
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Just because he's wearing women's clothes, he's right, that doesn't make him gay though like strait men, gay men are just as likely to 'cross dress', known as drag queens. I think your next step is to decide on what level is his passion for this. Is it just a casual thing, every now and then? Or is it something that he would like to evolve go out in public for example. If you don't find it sexual, then he needs to know that strait away because it would be wrong of you to let him think that he can fulfill his sexual fantasies in this manner if you are not willing. I personally wouldn't find it a turn-on, but everyone is different, we all have our things.
The hardest part for you, I imagine, is the secret and I hope you're not too crushed. It is your decision whether or not you can live with this knowledge and support him through this. Please may I make a suggestion? Please don't demand him that he changes who he is.
See a problem?
I don't really agree with telling a person how they should be when they're not hurting anyone. Either you are willing to accept who he is and maybe compromise between yourselves, or you conceed that it cannot work. I wish you all the best with your decision. Just to add to what the others have said, how much of your shock and violation comes from the fact it is your clothes that he has been using? Would you feel any differently, or at least not as bad, if he had different clothes that didn't belong to you?
I think you should take your time to figure this one out but like others have said do make it clear to him whether it is or is not something that sexually interests you and be firm with what you need for this to work if it is what you decide to do.
I hope you are able to talk to him about it and you become clearer as to where to go from here. Ok, I'm probably going to be the only one to say this but : how much does it really matter? It's not the same situation by any means but my dad is now a post-op transsexual.
When she first told me I was horrified, felt betrayed and as though he didn't want to be my dad anymore.
Was obviously still "he" then! Over time I got used to it and although I still struggled with talking about things like the hormone treatment I gradually got used to it. Now, we have the same relationship we always did.
She is still the same person, just happier in her own skin. Your husband is taking a massive step in confiding this to you; I know as a married couple you should share everything, but there are some things you don't feel you can share with a living soul.
My dad got married twice, had me and my half sister and spent all those years trying to be something he wasn't. At least your husband still loves you and wants to be married to you and is interested in you sexually. It'll take guts, honesty, a lot of open talking and a good deal of time, but you still have the man you fell in love with, just with a bit you didn't know about; and you should be able to accept it in time.
Thankyou for all of your comments I understand he isn't hurting anyone and hope he will at some stage snapout of it I just feel asthough i have lost him and i never really knew him in the begining. I like men to be manly and to think of my husband in a pair of high heels and a skirt is killing the vision of my manly husband!
Georgina did you or do you feel asthough you have lost a little bit of the dad you used to know? If you understand what i mean?
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I do not find this a turn on in any way shape or form which i have told hubby and to be honest wish he had never told me. Maybe im being a bit selfish? If he has kept this secret for soooo long what else is there :dunno:? Firstly, this is who he is, he won't "snap out of it" any more than he can snap out of his eye colour or what size his feet are.
I haven't lost anything of the "old dad" no. Well, I suppose she no longer has that slightly sad demenour or the way she obviously never felt completely like he fitted in.
So all I've lost are negatives. It also taught me an awful lot about being true to yourself. You aren't being selfish, you're in shock. It's not surprising really, is it!
My main issues if my partner suddenly told me that would be the secrecy as in, why didn't he feel he could trust me with it before now ; what else is there to know or is that everything - I'd want a complete amnesty on everything for both of us to clear any skeletons out; and also that it was my clothes he'd been wearing. How the hell did he fit in them for one thing - he's tall and thin and I'm short and quite fat!
Not so much the wearing them but the masturbation; that's disrespectful. I wouldn't mind if he had his own things. I'm also not sure how much I would want the children to know. I guess until they were much older I'd not want them knowing anything because of the stigma that goes with it, it's not something that would be easy for them to understand and if they mistakenly told someone who they thought they could trust it could be disastrous for the whole family.
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This is all stuff you have to talk to your husband about though. He is still the man you married, and he obviously feels guilty for what he's been doing or he wouldn't have hidden it all these years. Try and see it from his point of view.
Imagine you had something you liked doing that was generally seen as unacceptable. Let's imagine, for example, that dyeing your hair was legal but seen as being weird, but you really really liked doing it.
So you occasionally dye your hair with some of that 6 washes and its gone stuff; and have a wig that you wear that matches your normal hair colour and style so nobody knows. Eventually you decide you have to tell your husband because you can't handle hiding it anymore. You don't know what he's going to say but you just hope at least you can both sit down and discuss it and find a way forward.
Ok that sounds really silly if you take the hair dye thing too literally but ygwim with it.