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Wife turns hubby gay

Wife Turns Hubby Gay
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Name: Abbe

Years: I'm 32 years old
My Sign of the zodiac: I'm Cancer
I prefer to drink: Tequila
I like to listen: Classical
My hobbies: My hobbies singing
Smoker: Yes

I 'm not sure why we should be shocked when someone ends a marriage and comes out of the closet.

The top warning s? Possession of homosexual pornography and evidence of visits to homosexual porn websites. You would not think a lot of men, confronted with a log of their hours spent on sexynakedmen. There aren't as many websites for men left by gay wives. Perhaps they aren't as ready to share their hurt.

Perhaps it's their wounded pride. Whatever the reason, it's certainly not because it's not happening. But why should we have such illusions about marriage anyway?

There are many things spouses choose to keep secret, and homosexuality is just one of them. No man says: I do, mostly because your money will allow me to become a successful businessman. Weekly sex will be OK, as long as passion is not required. There are three powerful bonds between people and, for better and for worse, they often operate separately, rather than together: sexual attraction, long-term attachment and romantic yearning.

Sexual attraction can bring together two people who have almost nothing in common except what takes place between the sheets; see most young marriages. Then there are people whom you just love — deeply, permanently and not necessarily sexually. These people are described as your best friend and you would willingly raise their kids and, if you had to, give them a kidney.

There is also the bond of romantic attachment; these are people with whom all the accoutrements of romance feel so right: the cosy table in the corner, the sweet text message as you sit through a dull meeting. This is a lovely bond between people; it doesn't require sexual attraction and it neither precludes nor requires long-term attachment.

I have two gay men in my life with official titles. My Gay Husband: a distinguished gentleman, a little older than me and capable of not only making me laugh myself sick, but also of helping me choose a dress and fix a paragraph.

S of a gay husband – is my man gay?

On a few occasions, he has acted the part of my husband so convincingly, we were both a little surprised. I also have a Gay Boyfriend: handsome, charming, brilliant on my hair colour and my essays, a little younger than me. We have walked through a lot of places hand-in-hand and happily. I can imagine that a woman might want to marry either of these men. It's the world we live in that makes it hard for gay men and women to face their homosexuality and to hope that, in marrying their best friend, they have vanquished their other desires. When I started dating again after the end of my first marriage, the person sitting across the table from me always knew — Jew, writer, bisexual, near-sighted mother of three — by the second date.

We want sons who are kind and honourable, but not so much so that they'll be mocked. We're not ready for the bouquet of humanity — for now, we can stand only two dismal Wife turns hubby gay one blue, one pink. I got married young, at 20, to a friend, because that's what everyone did. I think deep down I realised I was gay when I was about six. As a teenager, boys approached me and I'd think, go on then. It wasn't something I was into at all, but I didn't know there was any other option.

I grew up in rural Wales.

I didn't know anyone who was gay. I thought you had to have a skinhead and dungarees. Then I went to university and there was a massive gay population, but it freaked the life out of me. London was a mad place and I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't stay there very long. Instead, I got married and moved to Cornwall. He was in the navy, so away all the time.

We had a baby, but things soon turned volatile. I think we both knew something wasn't right. We split up after five years and a few months later I got together with another good friend, back in Wales. My parents had split up and I didn't want to be a single mum. I wanted my son to have brothers and sisters. When I married my second husband, it was because I knew he'd be a good dad. I wasn't looking for a soul mate, but we were friends and companions.

And we still are. We had two children together, and they were five and seven when we got divorced.

It was a shock to my husband, that it wasn't enough for me. I couldn't give him a reason, I just knew it wasn't right. I started having counselling and it was then that I finally faced up to who I was — what I was. Suddenly, everything fell into place.

I kept thinking, oh my God, I'm a lesbian. That's why I've never had any interest in men, never had a type — because I didn't fancy any of them. It was six months before I told anyone else.

I didn't want to lose my friends. I felt massive guilt about the children.

There's this torment inside you: do you actually value what you feel enough to put everything on the line? My self-esteem was very low. For so many years, I'd just gone along with what everyone else wanted. I came out to a few close friends first, then my oldest son, who was 15 at the time. I wanted to make sure the kids were OK with it.

But he was fantastic. Then I told the younger two, who were 11 and nine.

They were more confused and upset. They were worried about how it would affect them: what will my friends think? What if I get bullied?

I don't want two mums, that's weird. But the oldest went into school wearing a T-shirt that said, "Some people are gay, get over it. I had a couple of flings with women, which the children didn't know about, but I waited until the younger two were comfortable before I brought my current partner home. They thought she was great straight off, but they haven't told their friends what our relationship is, and though she has moved in and we are engaged, we're careful not to act like a couple in public, for their sake.

I'm not in touch with my first husband, but when I told my second, I was worried he'd think it was a slur on his manhood, or that I'd lied to him. In fact I think it was a relief. He said it answered a lot of questions.

The most important thing was the children. For a while, I was concerned my daughter might think she has to be a lesbian, because I am. Or that I fancy her, which is ridiculous because I don't fancy my sons, but people think that kind of thing.

But recently she said, "I'm so pleased you're gay, Mum, because you're much happier than you've ever been. When I got together with my partner, it felt like I'd come home. It just felt right. I'm finally being who I want to be. The crisis point came four years ago, when my wife and I both went away for work. Back home she said, "Have you missed me?

Rebecca jayne, 38, ­realised that she was gay after her second ­marriage ended

I'd always thought I was bisexual. I'd had a few flings with other boys, but I just wanted to conform.

I met my wife at 20 and we got married when I was We were together for nine years and I was always faithful, but on holiday on a beach, I'd eye up men from behind my sunglasses.

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